


The Soldiers Tranquility

by Maiihemm



Series: The Soldier [3]
Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 17:35:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19178128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiihemm/pseuds/Maiihemm
Summary: Part Three to The Soldier. Please read Part One and Two before reading this, or it won't make any sense at all!





	1. Chapter 1

Riley grimaced as they rode up to the clubhouse. They had enjoyed their time away from Charming, even if it was forced. In all honesty, they really did have a great time. The limo had taken them to a private beach house on the coast. While searching it to make sure it wasn't bugged, Riley discovered her father had just bought it in her name. He had left a note telling her that it was a way to get away when she needed to. She tried to be pissed about it, but it was a nice gift.

They had spent two weeks just relaxing and talking. She had gone swimming often and even got Happy to join her. The time alone with him and stirred up some feelings she thought had disappeared long ago. She knew she was happy to be married to him, but she was concerned to realize she may be falling for him.

_They both fell to the ground when Happy lost his footing in the sand. He had been carrying her towards the water, wanting to dunk her in after she made a smart-ass comment to him. They both howled out in laughter, feeling the effects of the alcohol. She looked into his eyes and felt her heart race. Their faces were close to each other and for a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her before he pulled away and helped her to her feet._

Riley pulled her focus back to the present and cut the engine to her bike. She had been dreading the moment. Before she left, she had gone off on Chibs. He had walked out on the wedding and then blamed her for all of the club problems. Riley then threatened him with either leaving the club or taking it from him.

"C'mon. Time to face the music."

"Yeah, yeah I'm coming."

Riley climbed off her bike and tossed her hair up in a bun. Her shoulders were sore for a healing sunburn and her hair was aggravating it. She walked towards the front door, walking next to Happy when Althea walked out of the doors. Riley stifled a growl and heard Happy laugh.

"For the love of all that is holy, I do not want to deal with this today." She said low enough that only Happy could hear her.

"Riley."

"Yes. Still me."

She went to walk past Althea but stopped when the sheriff stopped moving. She rolled her eyes and turned to face her, not trying to hide how much she didn't want to talk to her.

"I'm assuming you're going to keep bothering me until I talk to you. So talk."

"I wanted to apologize for my actions."

"Why? You got what you wanted?"

"Chibs and I are back together."

"Good for you."

"You aren't mad?"

"I told him weeks ago to do what he wants. He's not my problem anymore as long as the club still functions."

"That's all you really care about?"

"Yes. So, as long as you aren't going to be a problem to this club, you aren't a problem to me."

"Are you seriously threatening a sherrif?"

"No. I'm threating a homewrecking whore that's standing outside of my clubhouse. Stay in line, Althea, and we won't have a problem."

Riley walked past her and tried to ignore the grin on Happy's face.

"I don't think you know who you're talking to, Miss Morey."

Riley stopped in her tracks and turned around. She stalked back towards Althea, and smirked when the sherrif took two steps backwards.

"No, sweetheart, I don't think you know who you're talking to. You've stabbed me twice now, Jerry. Remember that. I don't forget anything. Not a damn thing. I'm assuming you've looked up my past already so I'm sure you know what I'm capable of. You can be in Chibs' life, as long as it benefits this club."

"Christ you sound like Gemma."

"From what I know of her, I'll take that as a compliment. Except I wear that reaper just like these boys too. You know that means something."

Jerry nodded at Riley and turned towards her car.

"Oh, and Althea?"

"Yes?"

"It's Lowman."

* * *

Chibs heard the bikes pull in and looked at Althea. She had been waiting for Riley to get back. She swore it was to apologize, but he didn't believe her. He watched her get up and followed her out. He stood by the wall and watched the two women speak. He frowned at how Riley was acting.

Something in her had changed. She looked rested. Her skin had actually taken some color and it made her glow. The way she walked almost reminded him of the first time he met her. She had driven onto the lot straight out of the army. She radiated strength and honor. She always did but losing Sarah had taken its toll. She had lost some of her determination. She had lost her soul. Chibs had seen a lot of heartbreaking things in his long life, but seeing Rileys soul break like that was one of the hardest to face.

There she was, standing with her shoulders back and a fire in her eyes. A lot had happened in the past three weeks for the blonde. Between almost dying, having her heart broken and being forced to marry someone Riley had every reason to snap.

She hadn't snapped though. She had grown stronger.

"Oh, and Althea?"

"Yes?"

"It's Lowman."

Chibs felt his stomach drop at her acceptance of her last name. He still very deeply cared about her, even if he knew she could never forgive him for cheating on her. He regretted a lot in his life, but breaking her heart was at the very top of the list. He looked at her and wondered if she and Happy had decided to be more than just what was on the paper. He mentally kicked himself, knowing it wasn't his right to ask that questions.

"Welcome back, you two."

"We need to talk, Chibs."

"Aye. Think we do. Chapel alright?"

"Yeah."

Chibs turned and walked towards the chapel, surprised that Riley fell in behind him. He was incredibly drunk when she showed up after her wedding, but he remembered all of it. Truth be told, he felt like an asshole for how he acted. He walked in and sat down at the head of the table. He watched as Riley looked over the table and took Happys seat, right next to him.

"I know this isn't my seat, just didn't feel like sitting all the way across the table was practical."

"Yer fine lass."

"I shouldn't have gone off on you like that."

"Nah, ye were right to do so."

"No. I was pissed at everything else so instead of being a little upset with you, I took it all out on you. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. Should be me apologizing anyway. I fucked shite up with you then tried to tell you it was all yer fault."

"I can see why you said that."

"Aye, but we both know it ain't yer fault."

"My father isn't going to stop with where we're at."

"Didn' think he would."

"I'm going to kill him. I don't know how or when yet, but he needs to die for everything he has done to me. Done to this club."

"Club needs to vote on it, but I don't see why anyone would disagree."

"I don't want anyone else getting hurt because of him."

"Don't you worry about that. A vote will be the guys decision with all of this."

Riley nodded and looked down at the table. He could tell she was thinking and he was sure it had to do with Althea.

"Althea said you two are back together."

Chibs sighed and started playing with his knife on the table.

"She wants us to be."

"I don't care if you are, but she already has two strikes against her."

"Aye."

"One step out of bounds and she's dead."

"She should be dead already."

"What do you have in mind then?"

"I might be able to convince her to get close to your da. He knows she helped Brandon. Knows about all of it."

"You don't care using her as bait?"

"Absolutely not."

He looked at Riley and he thought he saw guilt flash through her eyes, but it was gone too quickly to be sure.

"You been thinking about this for a while then?"

"Aye."

Riley nodded again and stood up to leave.

"Ri?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're back."

"Yeah, me too. Now it's time to get to work."


	2. Chapter 2

Happy sat on the picnic table smoking a cigarette. He had found Riley ripping into Althea both amusing and sexy. Killing those Russians had flipped a switch in Riley and he was sure that he wasn't the only one to notice. She had let her guard down a little on their getaway, but he could still see it.

She had so much hate built up inside her.

He knew the look well. He had lived most of his life with that same hate. For years, he kept it pent up until he snapped. It landed him in hot water more times than he could remember. Once he learned how to control it, that is when he became the Tacoma Killer. He knew Riley knew how to control it. She had shown it at the wedding and every day since then. She wasn't some weak bitch he needed to look out for. She was one of a kind.

He took a drag of his cigarette and let his mind wander to his favorite night from the past two weeks.

_"_ _Hap?"_

_"_ _Yep."_

_"_ _I fuckin' love you."_

_He turned and looked at his very drunk wife. She was laying on the bed on her back, but half of her body was hanging off. She was playing with her long hair and he thought maybe trying to braid it. Whatever she was doing, she was failing at it._

_"_ _Love ya too."_

_"_ _No. No no no."_

_She sat up and look at him. When she swung herself up, she fell forward too far and had to throw her hands out onto the bed to stop herself from face planting._

_"_ _I mean it."_

_"_ _I do too?"_

_"_ _I mean that I love you."_

_"_ _Okay. I thought we were both saying it."_

_"_ _Noooo. No you said "love ya" which is wayyyy differen't from I love you."_

_"_ _You're drunk."_

_"_ _You're drunk! Listen to me."_

_"_ _I'm listening."_

_"_ _I. Love. You."_

_"_ _Tell me that in the morning when you're sober."_

_"_ _You're stupid."_

_She flopped back down on the bed with a huff._

_"_ _How am I stupid?"_

_"_ _Cause I mean it. I've loved you for like.. ever and stuff."_

_"_ _Why."_

_He was amused and knew that he should just let her fall asleep. He wanted to know how she actually felt though. He had always wanted to ask her but knew that if he asked her sober she wouldn't answer. Truthful Riley was a very rare form. She always told you the truth, but to be this candid was incredibly rare._

_"_ _Who else would kill people with me?"_

_"_ _There is a whole club."_

_"_ _No. Who else would kill people with me and like it?"_

_She had a point._

_"_ _Why else?"_

_"_ _Cause you know what I'm saying before I say it. I HATE talking."_

_He raised his eyebrows and tried not to laugh. The woman hadn't shut up in well over three hours._

_"_ _Could have fooled me."_

_"_ _Shut your whore mouth, Happy Lowman. I hate talking."_

_"_ _I think you like talking. I think you hate explaining shit."_

_"_ _Yes! That! See! You get me."_

_"_ _Yeah I do. Why else."_

_"_ _Cause you're sexy."_

_"_ _Oh?"_

_"_ _Yep. I've wanted to jump your bones for EVER."_

_"_ _We've had sex before."_

_"_ _No. We fucked. I was usually drunk anyway. I barely remember it."_

_"_ _Ouch."_

_"_ _Oh shush. You probably don't remember either."_

_He got really close to her face and smirked._

_"_ _I remember every second of it."_

_He laughed when her face turned a dark shade of red. He lingered, looking at her lips for a few moments before laughing and pulling away from her._

He chuckled to himself at the memory. She had woken up with a horrible hangover and swore she didn't remember most of the night. She had acted differently with him since then though. He scoffed at himself. There he was acting like a damn teenager flirting with his wife. Who he wasn't really with but had fucked and almost had a kid with. He shook his head realizing the level of fucked up his life was.

"You losin' it killer?"

He looked up at Tig.

"Nah, I'm good."

"Sitting here laughing to yourself. What's so funny?"

"Just some stupid shit Ri did."

"Ah. How is she?"

"Talking to Chibby."

"Heard there was a show down with Jerry."

"Kinda. Jerry trying to say her dick was bigger."

"Shit. We both know Ri has the biggest dick of them all."

Happy grunted in agreement as he took another drag of his cigarette.

"How was the honeymoon?"

"Nice actually. Just kinda sat around and got shit faced every day."

"Shit, could have done that here."

"Yeah but it was in a nice ass beach house that had no annoying curley haired freaks there."

"Ouch man. Ouch."

Happy laughed and put his cigarette out on the table.

"So what's going on with you and Ri?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you guys are legally married but you guys bumpin uglies too?"

"Jesus Christ Tig. Go get laid."

"I mean if you insist.."

Happy got up shaking his head and walked towards the clubhouse doors.

* * *

Riley, satisfied with her talk with Chibs, walked out to the bar to find Happy. They hadn't been home other than to grab their bikes and she was tired. She found him sitting at the bar talking to Rat.

"Hey Hap, think I'm gonna head home for a while. I'm pretty tired. Probably hungover still too."

"Yeah I feel ya. Let me check with Chibs and we can head out."

"He already said we're good for the day. Said he would call if he needs anything."

"Alright. Let's go then."

They were walking away and Rat yelled out to her.

"Riley!"

"Yeah?"

"You looked beautiful by the way. I think with the whole Russian thing I forgot to tell you. Plus, Brooke is kinda crazy."

"Rat, ever think its your fault she's crazy?"

Riley laughed when Rats eyes got even bigger than normal and he turned back towards the bar. Even though he wasn't a prospect, they all had fun fucking with him.

The ride home was quick and they both got off their bikes to head inside. Riley wanted nothing more than to take a shower and fall asleep. Now that she knew the club shit was straightened out, the stress was gone.

"I'm gonna hop in the shower and then lay down."

"Alright. Hungry?"

"Yeah a little. You can order some takeout if you want."

"Nah I'll cook."

Riley smiled at him and head towards the bathroom. She stripped out of her clothes and turned on the shower. She could already smell the food coming from the kitchen and it smelled great. Hap didn't cook often, but when he did it was amazing. She quickly showered and by the time she got out, she saw a pair of panties and a white t-shirt sitting on the bed. She smiled and slipped both of them on and head out towards the kitchen.

"Foods done."

"Smells great."

Happy set a plate of spicy chicken alfredo on the counter for her. She started shoveling the food in her mouth, not being able to get enough.

"Jesus, you were hungry."

"That and this is fucking fantastic."

Happy chuckled and cleaned up the kitchen, only pausing to take a few bites of his own food. Riley finished and walked over to do the dishes. After a few minutes she felt his hands on her hips as he pressed himself against her back. She stopped what she was doing and froze.

"Now that we're home."

"Yeah?"

"Do you actually not remember what happened the night you got plastered?"

"Nothing happened. We just talked."

"Remember what we talked about?"

Riley swallowed hard. She remembered all of it. There were very few times in her life that she didn't remember what she said or did while drinking. That night had been bothering her.

"It was a lot of me just talking and you getting annoyed with me for not shutting up."

"I guess you could describe it that way."

Riley went to pick up another dish, but Happy's hands tightened on her hips. She let go of the dish and wiped her hands on the dry towel next to her. She thought about turning around, but decided to stay still.

"You see, what I remember is a little different. I remember you telling me that you've loved me for a long time. I remember you saying that you love how well we fit together."

He moved in closer and gently ran his lips up her neck until he got to her ear.

"I remember you saying how much you've wanted me." He growled.

Riley suppressed a shiver and let out a shaky breath. This was a new side to Happy. She had hoped that he had forgotten all about their conversation. It was the worst drunken confession she had ever made. Everything she said had been true though. His close proximity and hands on her hips was sending electric currents through her body. She didn't remember ever feeling like this with Happy, but then again every time they ever were intimate they both had been drunk.

"I guess I did say those things."

"So you do remember?"

Riley slowly turned to face Happy. He didn't back away at all, causing the two to be pressed into each other. Even with how tall Riley was, Happy still towered over her. She looked at his chest for a few moments before tilting her head back so she could look him in the eyes.

"Yeah. I remember the whole conversation. There isn't a moment of those two weeks I don't remember."

"Then why haven't you brought it up since?"

Riley looked away and sighed. She knew anyone else would have demanded answers the next morning. It wasn't the right time. Happy would have known that though since he was so in tune with her. She felt his hand on her chin as he turned her back towards him. She looked him in the eyes and saw something. She couldn't pinpoint it though. She had seen him full of lust and she had seen him angry. She had even seen him worried about her. This was different.

"Why didn't you talk to me about it."

"It's stupid."

"Try me."

Riley sighed again and leaned back against the counter. She let out a squeak when Happy lifted her onto the counter and moved forward so he was standing between her legs. His hands never left her hips.

"I thought all of these feelings died a long time ago. When Sarah died, I was in a really bad place. You know that. You saw it. You dealt with it more than anyone else."

"And I would do it again."

"I know. I felt things for you back then that I couldn't explain. I felt jealousy and rage and just everything. I hated seeing you with the crow eaters. That's why I always either joined you or dragged them away. I was using you to get over all my anguish."

"Did it help?"

"In a way I guess."

"Then what's the problem?"

"When I started coming out of the haze I convinced myself that I was just grieving. I wasn't what you wanted. I don't do casual. I can't. Not when I feel something for someone. I'm either in or out."

"I still don't see the problem."

"I don't presume for a second that we're together. I know we're married. I know that. I know that for the outside world it needs to look legitimate or my father will start killing people. I know that we are closer than I have been to anyone. That doesn't mean I need to confess my feelings to you in a drunken state."

"No. You're right. You didn't have to."

Riley nodded and looked away from him.

"You should have told me sober"

Riley looked back at him with a confused look on her face.

"What?"

"This conversation should have happened a long time ago. We have always been great about talking unless it comes to us. Do you really think I didn't notice what's been going on?"

"Hap, I wasn't even sure how I felt."

"Yes you were. You keep saying you didn't want to get married but you've been perfectly content with marrying me. I saw the panic on your face after Chibs asked you. I could feel the tension across the damn room. I saw you cry when he cheated on you but I also saw the relief pass across your face. I don't know if it was because you just didn't want to marry him or if it was because you had feelings for me. I don't know."

"You're right."

"About what?"

"I loved him."

"I know you did."

"He was.. safe. He would have done anything to protect me. He would have given me a big family and died protecting whoever he needed to."

Happy nodded.

"That isn't what I wanted though. I don't want to be protected. I want an equal. I want someone that gets me for who I am. I'm a killer. I have been for years. I signed a contract at seventeen years old to get broken and trained to kill. The girl before that? That girl would have been thrilled with someone like Filip. This." She pat her chest. "This me isn't."

"All you have to do is say the words, Riley."

Riley felt her chest tighten and her breathing hitch.

"Don't feel like you're obligated to do or be anything to me."

"I don't feel obligated."

"Then what is this?"

"You think I don't feel the same way that you do?"

Riley went to slide off the counter but Happy tightened his grip on her hips. His right hand shot up to her jaw and he forced her to look at him. Anyone else would have done that and she would have reversed it and smashed their face off the counter. She froze and looked at him. His eyes were smoldering and it sent a shiver down her spine.

"I told you before that I would give anything for you."

"I know."

"Shut up and listen to me. What I didn't tell you then was how much you changed my perspective. I have never met a woman that could understand me, let alone keep up with me, until you showed up on that lot. I wouldn't have ever let you in the club if I didn't think you were something special. Being close to you has driven me wild. Knowing that I was nothing more than a friend to you has killed me, but I would do anything for you even if it made me so fucking jealous to see you with someone else."

Riley stayed still while Happy rambled on. His left hand was still tight on her hip and it was clouding her judgment. She had to keep herself focused on his words instead of imagining his hands pinning her down as he took advantage of her. An involuntary shiver went down her spine.

"Hap I-"

"I know this marriage is a technicality, but don't think for a second that doesn't mean I wouldn't make it a reality if that's what you wanted."

Riley went to talk, but Happy crashed his lips against hers. She froze for a second but couldn't hold back for long. She brought her hands up to his shoulders and he lifted her up so she tightened her legs around his waist. They were kissing passionately, both fighting for dominance. She felt her back slam against the wall and let out a moan. She heard Happy growl in response. He broke away, looking at her in the eyes. Both of their chests were heaving and Riley's heart was pounding. They both groaned when they heard one of their burner cells go off.

"I could just ignore it."

"We both know if It's a burner cell it's club shit."

"Whoever it is, I'm kicking the shit out of them."

Riley laughed and unwrapped her legs from his waist. She tok a few breaths and tried to calm herself down. She walked towards the bedroom, figuring she would need to be dressed. She could hear happy on the phone as she pulled a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out of the drawers. Most of her clothes were still at the clubhouse but she knew she could get them later. She heard Happy walk up to the doorway behind her.

"Where we running off to now?"

"Nowhere. Was Tig letting us know we have church in the morning."

"Okay."

She found herself fiddling with her clothes. She was getting frustrated with herself. She had never felt nervous before. Maybe when she had her first kiss, but never as an adult.

"You tired?"

"Exhausted." She breathed out.

"Lay down. Get some sleep so we can get back to normal life tomorrow."

Riley chewed on her cheek when she turned towards him. She looked up at him and tried to read his face.

"What does normal life consist of?"

Happy sighed and looked up at the wall over Riley. He pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

"What do you want normal life to consist of?"

"You really want this?"

"Wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it. You know that."

"I mean it when I say I don't do casual. If i'm in something, i'm in."

"I've never really done serious, but I understand."

"You gonna be able to give up random pussy?"

Happy smirked and moved his mouth close to hers. She looked at him and bit her bottom lip with a smile.

"I'll give them up unless we're sharing one. Okay?"

Riley smirked and kissed his lips. She pulled away and climbed into bed, letting the exhaustion hit her completely. She smiled when she felt him climb into the bed behind her and wrap his arm around her waist. She sighed and let sleep take her away.


	3. Chapter 3

Happy had fallen into a routine with Riley. They worked on cars during the day, did what the club needed then went home together. He was surprised at how easy it was to be with her. They had always been together, but he had assumed that putting a legitimate title on their relationship would make him feel trapped. It was the opposite though, he felt more free than he ever had.

It had been a few months since they had talked about Rileys drunken confession from their honeymoon. He knew she was embarrassed, but he wanted to get everything out. They needed to be straight with each other if they were going to take down her father.

The club voted on all of it, and everyone was in favor of taking down Mr. Morey. It wasn't even a question. Riley was terrified of getting someone hurt, but she started to realize that the club took care of their own before anything else.

Althea was an issue too. She loved walking around the clubhouse like she owned the place. The only time she wavered was when Riley was around. Riley and Chibs were on the same page for once, and it meant trouble for the sheriff. She had no idea that as soon as she left the clubhouse, Chibs would be covered in crow eaters. Riley would send them over to ask Chibs questions, just to piss Jerry off. Happy thought it was hilarious and joined in quite a bit too.

Chis had been talking Althea into connecting with the IRA. It had taken a while, but her working with Brandon gave her the perfect opening. She was good at being a shady ass cop.

"Well, my oh my has this place not changes a bit!"

Happy looked over and saw Venus strutting into the clubhouse. She had still been traveling back and forth, only staying long enough to spend some time with Tig. She had sent an extravagant bondage system to Hap and Riley for their wedding gift, and it sent Riley into laughing fits. She hadn't had much of a chance to meet Venus yet, but she was excited to do so.

"Hey, Venus. What brings you here? Tiggy is out on a run."

"Yes, you handsome hunk of man muscle, I know. I am here to get acquainted with your beautiful bride. Mister Trager speaks so highly of the blonde, I figured I should meet her."

"She's back taking a shower, but should be out in a few."

"I am just so excited to meet the girl! How have you been, Mister Happy? Wedding bliss?"

"Things are good, Vee. You back now?"

"Yes, I do believe. It feels so good to be home!"

Happy smiled at Venus and shook his head. She was always incredibly enthusiastic and he was looking forward to see what Riley thought of her. The guys had a hard time at first accepting Tiggys woman, but no one really gave him a hard time. The guy had always been crazy, so being involved with a transsexual wasn't the craziest thing he had done. Hell, Hap and him had sawed and sewn two different bodies together.

"I'll go let her know you're here."

"Why thank you, Happy. I very much so appreciate it."

Happy slipped off the barstool and head towards the dorm room. Even though they had a house together, they still kept their rooms functional. He walked into the room and saw Riley walking out of the bathroom with only a towel on. He walked up to her and pulled her into his arms and pulled the towel off.

"Happy, knock it off it's cold in here."

"I can feel that."

Riley smacked him on the chest and started laughing. She smiled up at him and bit her lip. He growled and smiled at how easy it was for her to get him going.

"Something wrong?"

"Venus is here to see you."

"Oh! Tig said she would be here today! Can you let her know I'll be right out?"

"Or I could throw you down on this bed."

"Happy Lowman get out."

He sighed and turned to leave. He shut the door behind him and saw Venus fawning over one of the new prospects. The kid seemed nervous, but kept his cool. He would have to remember to bring that up later.

"Vee, she wanted me to tell you she will be right now. Just getting dressed."

"Thank you, my dear Happy. Where would our dearest scottsman be? I wanted to see him as well."

"He's out on the run with Tig."

"Oh well I guess I will be seeing him when he gets back then."

Happy nodded and head back for the bar. He had been worried about Chibs. He seemed in a better place but after all the shit he pulled, he wasn't sure if he could trust him. He knew just how dangerous it was to not trust the president of the club.

* * *

Riley walked out of the room and was instantly met with a very loud and boisterous hello. She saw the woman standing in front of her and she was nothing what she expected. The way the other guys talked about her, she was a queen bee. This woman was a queen full alphabet with how much of a presence she had.

"Miss Riley Lowman! If I do live and breathe you are one of the most breathtaking women I have ever seen in my whole life. Alexander told me you were beautiful but I feel like he has not played up to your full potential."

"You much be Venus. I am so glad I'm finally meeting you!"

She walked forward and was instantly pulled into a bone crushing hug. She saw Happy laughing out of the corner of her eye and tried not to join him. This woman is exactly the kind of woman Tig would be with.

"I am just thrilled to be seeing you. I unfortunately can't be staying long, but I plan on being around this wonderful establishment much more often now that Charming is my home again. I would actually love to have a cook out here within the next few days, permission pending of course."

"I don't see why that would be an issue at all. I'll make sure I bring it up with Chibby and Tiggy when they get back."

"Oh my sweet girl, you do belong here with those nick names you're throwing around. I must be heading up to the studio but I will be back later this evening."

"I'm sure me and Hap will be too. Have a great time up there. They sure need the help."

"I am sure that any place could use the helping hand of Venus Van Dam."

Riley watched her strut out, head held high and she couldn't help but smile. The woman was intense and everything Tig could ever need. She walked over and sat next to Hap, keeping an eye on the prospect who looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

"What'dya think?"

"She's intense."

"Very."

"She's perfect for Tig."

"Absolutely."

"What was the run they are on?"

"Not sure. Just left in a hurry."

"I have a feeling this has something to do with my father."

"Why?"

"Because he's been quiet for too damn long."

As she finished her sentence, her phone started ringing. She pulled it out to see it was her father. She rolled her eyes, showing Hap the caller ID before answering it.

"Speak of the devil."

"Ouch, Riley. Not a very kind thing to say to me."

"What do you want?"

"Would it be possible for you and your husband to meet me where we met with Alvarez last? Need to discuss some things with you."

"You do know I'm not the president of this club, right?"

"Yes. I am well aware."

"We need to wait for Chibs and Tig to get back then."

"No, you need to get here now."

The phone clicked and Riley got an eerie feeling in the pit of her stomach. She didn't like that her father didn't want the leaders of the club there, and she didn't like that he was calling. Something was off.

"Prospect, if anyone pulls into this driveway and they aren't a son, you call me. Got it?"

Before he could even answer, Happy and Riley were out the door.

* * *

Chibs opened his eyes and felt the pain on the side of his face. He blinked a few times trying to understand where he was. He looked across the room and Tig was slumped against a wall. He tried to bring his hands up, but quickly realized they were tied to a chair. He and Tig had been going to a meeting with Alvarez. They had gotten off their bikes then he didn't remember anything else.

"Tiggy. Tiggy you okay?"

He saw Tig stir and sighed in relief. At least he wasn't dead. He looked to his left, despite the pain screaming for him to stop, and saw Althea tied up to a chair also. She was bleeding from her face and slumped over. She was still breathing but she looked rough.

"Jerry. Althea. You okay?"

She moved slightly and slowly picked her head up. She looked at Chibs and frowned.

"I'm so sorry Chibs. They figured me out."

"What do ya mean?"

"They figured out I was trying to spy on them. I told them everything. They told me they would kill me if I didn't tell them who tried to send me to them."

"Chris, Althea."

"I don't want to die."

He rolled his eyes when she started crying. He should have just killed her when he had the chance. He heard the door open and saw Riley's father and a few other guys walk in.

"Ah, Mr. Telford, you're awake!"

"Aye. Not really feeling the hospitality."

"Ah, yeah, I apologize for that. You see, Miss Jerry here made some pretty big accusations. I needed to find out the truth."

"Coulda just asked me."

"And would you have told the truth or would you have let Riley get in the way?"

"What is it ya need ta know?"

"I'll ask questions soon. Riley will be here in about an hour. Mr. Trager will be allowed to meet with her outside so she doesn't think she's being taken in any way."

Chibs sighed but stayed quiet. He knew that there would be no persuading the King.

"Sit tight, Mr. Telford. We will be back soon."

Chibs straightened up as the guys grabbed Tig and dragged him out of the room. He was still out of it and it worried Chibs that he was more hurt than expected.

* * *

Happy and Riley followed the IRA guys that met them at the park to an old warehouse. He could feel how anxious his wife was, and it made him jumpy. He hated feeling so useless. It was much quicker to shoot and ask questions later. That's probably why he would never make it to the presidents seat.

They both cut their engines and walked towards the front door. He saw that Riley had her hand on her waist, knowing that it was to pull her pistol if needed. The door swung open and Tig fell out. Riley lurched forward to grab him, Happy following suit.

"Hey, doll, fancy seeing you here."

They helped him stand up on his feet.

"What the hell happen?"

"I uh, think someone hit my head. Everything is pretty damn fuzzy. They said you're safe though. Chibs is inside."

"Is this my father?"

"Yeah. Here I'll show you."

Happy kept his arm wrapped around Tig, supporting most of his weight as they walked inside. Tig led them down a hallway and to an office. Inside, Mr Morey was sitting.

"Ah! You two made it!"

"Tig needs to sit down, dad."

"He can sit in the room we're going to."

The three followed the king down the hallway to a back room. He swung the door open to see Chibs and Althea tied to chairs, both bloody. Someone Happy didn't recognize pulled a chair up and helped him get Tig into it. He sat slumped in the chair, but he was still talking to them.

"Dad, what the fuck is this?"

"This, darling daughter, is me taking care of business."

"What-"

"Be quiet. It has come to my attention that your president took it upon himself to try to get a cop into my good graces. Did you know anything about that?"

Happy kept his mouth shut and watched Chibs glare at Riley. He subtly shook his head no, as if to her to say she didn't know. She stayed perfectly still and said nothing.

"You see, the Sons should have been killed a long time ago. The IRA has let you all live through all of the bullshit. I even pushed this wedding to make all of you relevant and inexpendible. This changes that though."

"It doesn't change any-"

"I said be quiet. Isn't this the woman who worked with Brandon?"

"Yes."

Happy could hear Althea sobbing in her chair. As much as he hated her, he almost felt bad. They had planned on taking her out but it never would have been this drawn out or brutal.

"Why is she still alive."

"I.. I don't know." Riley choked out.

"Fair enough."

Riley's father picked up his pistol, pointed it at Althea and pulled the trigger. The small room made the gun shot echo painfully loud as the bullet hit the sheriff between the eyes. Happy kept his eyes on Riley the whole time. Her body jumped involuntary at the sound of the gunshot. It pissed him off. There wasn't many times that he saw her jumpy, if any at all.

"Problem solved."

"Yeah, I guess it is." She said quietly.

"Now. Next problem. You actually brought it up earlier."

"What problem?"

"You can't just make decisions for the club. You aren't the president and don't have much pull. Now, your current president just tried to betray me. He tried to send in the woman who tried to have you killed into my life. Do you see where this is a problem."

"Dad. Don't."

"Do you see where it's a problem."

"I know you think it's a problem, but it's not. He will listen to me. He will do what needs to be done. Dad. Please don't do this."

"I just can't believe anything he says, Riley."

"Dad."

He pointed his gun at Chibs and looked back at Riley. Happy felt his whole body turn on fire. It was his job to protect the president and he was failing. He stepped forward but the other guys pulled their guns on him. He could see Tig scrambling to stand up but all it took was one person to put their hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Dad! Don't do this!"

"Riley, you all have left me with no choice."

As the shot rang out, it was like the whole world was moving in slow motion. Happy saw Riley lunge forward screaming. She fell short, collapsing at her fathers feet. He watched as the slug slammed into Chibs' chest, sending blood spraying everywhere. He felt the cold steel of the gun pressed into the back of his head. He looked over to see Tig screaming out as he fell on the floor from his chair. The only sounds left in the deafening silence, was Riley and Tig sobbing on the floor. He fell to his knees as he looked at his president, slumped forward, no longer breathing.


	4. Chapter 4

Riley couldn't believe the wales she was hearing were actually coming from her. It was like she was out of her body and looking at the whole scene. She had tried to stop her father from pulling the trigger. She was too slow. She watched helplessly as the bullet hit Chibs and took his life. She tried to rationalize a way that he could still be alive. Some how he was faking it. Deep in her soul she knew he was gone. She could feel it. The whole world felt different.

"I'm sorry I had to do that Riley. I'll let you take care of your issues then I'll be in touch."

She heard her father and the rest of the men walk away as she continued to sob on the ground. She looked up at the man, the man she loved with all of her heart, slumped forward in the chair. She crawled towards him and brushed his shaggy greying hair away from his face. He looked peaceful and it broke his heart.

She remembered a time when that peaceful face meant the world to her. A time when waking up before him was a treat because she could kiss his face, causing him to open his eyes and smile at her. She choked out another sob as she ran her fingers across his face, for the last time.

"Riley, we need to get him home." Happy said quietly.

"I know. Tig too. Call Rat. Call everyone."

Riley heard his phone beeping and she carefully let Chibs head rest back where it was. She pressed her forehead to his and let the tears fall. She knew she had every reason to be mad at him, but all she felt was regret for not telling him how much she loved him. She wouldn't get to tell him how much she cared still about him regardless of what he did. She broke free of hear thoughts when she heard Tig sobbing.

She turned to see the closest thing she had to a real father, crumpled on the floor. His blue eyes were shining even brighter from the tears freely falling. She walked over to him and sank to the floor in front of him. He looked at her, shaking his head, as he grabbed her cut and pulled himself to her. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close.

"I am so sorry, Tiggy. This is all my fault." She sobbed.

Tig tried to speak, but instead just shook his head and sobbed even harder. She wasn't sure if she was shaking from her own tears or his, but she knew they needed to get outside and get everyone home. The next few days were going to be the roughest the club had dealt with in a long time.

* * *

It took less than a day for all the charters to make it to Charming. Venus had been helping Riley get everything straightened out. She knew she went through all of it with Sarah, but she had help. Chibs had been there to help. She sighed, knowing that it was time to leave the room at the clubhouse.

"They're here to help."

Riley jumped, not realizing that Happy was right behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

"Yeah. I know. I remember."

"It's a little different when it's a member."

"I can only imagine."

"You know this wasn't your fault right?"

"That's the thing Hap. It is. All of it. He wouldn't even be looking at the Sons if it wasn't for me."

"No one thinks that."

"Well, I know it."

Happy sighed and shook his head. She knew he would never agree with her, but it didn't stop her from thinking it. She knew now wasn't the time to push it though.

"When will he be here?"

"They're gonna drop him off in an hour. Garage is shut down, everything is locked down. Sherrifs posted outside to make sure no one gets in that we don't approve of."

Riley nodded and pulled out of his arms. Normally, she would love to feel his embrace. Knowing tha she felt safe. She just felt broken.

"Tig awake?"

"Not sure. Him and Vee are staying in his room."

"I'm gonna go check on him."

"Alright."

Happy kissed Riley's lips lightly, but she felt nothing. She felt no spark or ache in her heart when he pulled away. She felt nothing. She walked out of her room and across the hallway. She saw the door was open so she peeked her head inside.

She saw Tig laying on the bed, with his head on Venus' lap. She was playing in his hair and talking to him lightly. He had his eyes closed, but he looked okay.

"Hey, Tiggy. How's your head?"

"I'm good, doll. How's your heart?"

Riley tried to smile, but it just didn't reach her face. She sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at Tig. He was forcing a smile but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Tiggy I am so sorry."

"You gotta stop beating yourself up, doll. Sad is okay. Self hate isn't."

"He's right, sweetheart. You gotta let go of that pain you are ever so harboring in your heart. You didn't kill him, sweetie."

"I may as well have."

Riley got up and walked out of his room. Chibs would be there soon and it would be time to say goodbye. Happy gave her a general idea of how it worked when a patched member died. She watched as the hearse pulled in. Everyone went silent as the SAMCRO members stepped through the crowd. Riley, Happy and Tig stood up front. Rat, T.O., Quinn, and Montez stood directly behind. The door opened and they all stepped forward to carry the casket in. Riley watched Quinn guide Tig to the side, knowing he could barely even walk.

The six members carried the casket on their shoulders, past everyone that ever cared about the club and the man inside. Riley held back tears when she passed Kerrianne. The woman was sobbing as Venus held her close. Both women were crying actually. She wanted to pull them into her arms, but she knew she needed to carry the burden on her shoulders.

She had carried many caskets before. Between her multiple deployments, she had lost many good men. No casket felt heavier than the one she had now. She was sure it had to do with how heavy her heart was. They walked directly into the chapel, and set the casket down on the reaper. His head was facing the gavel, which is where he always should be.

Quinn and Montez pulled the top off. Everyone took turns placing things in his casket.

Tig placed a picture of the two, freshly Prez and VP. They were both smiling in front of the new clubhouse. Chibs had told Riley about the feeling they had at that time. So much pain and destruction had happened around them. They felt like the new clubhouse was a fresh start for all of them.

Happy stepped forward and placed a beautiful 9mm pistol in his hand. It was engraved with the reaper on the side, and n the other a smiley face. It was Happys favorite gun and Chibs always tried to win it from him during backwards bets and card games.

Venus stepped forward and set a bottle of old whiskey in his casket. Riley smiled remembering how he always talked about this whiskey he was dying to try. He told her about how Tig and Venus refused to open the bottle, saying it was saved for the best occasion they could think of.

Kerianne came forward, tears still streaming down her eyes. She touched her fathers face and spoke to him in Gaelic. Her voice was soft and sweet. She unclipped her locket that was around her neck, and placed it in his hand. The locket was something he left for her when Jimmy took him away. She had never taken it off a day in her life.

Riley watched the rest of the Sons, from SAMCRO and other charters, file in and say their goodbyes to the fallen Scott. She stood in the doorway, wanting to hear everything and every story that was being told. Even though she knew Chibs so well, she needed to know more. Finally, it was her time to say goodbye.

She stepped forward and finally looked at his face. His hair, although trimmed, was shagged into this face with a part right down the middle. If not for how pale he was, she could almost mistake him for sleeping. She reached out and touched his face, but the cold sensation made her stomach turn. She pulled her dog tags off her neck, and put them in the hand that was still free of memories.

"I am so sorry, Filip. I would give anything to take back what happened to you. If I had known the day I pulled into this lot that this would happen.. I would have turned right around. I love you, you crazy bastard. God I hope you know that. I hope you know how much I love you. I'll take care of Kerrianne. I'll take care of this club. I will give my life making sure everyone is safe. Remember when I told you that? This doesn't change that, Chibs. I'd gladly die in your name."

Riley rest her head on the side of the casket and again, let herself cry. She felt Happys hand on her back, and she finally let herself feel. She buried her face into his chest as she let the grief fully hold her. Chibs was dead, and there was nothing she could do to bring him back.

SAMCRO came back in and closed the casket up. It was time to send him off, the burial would be the next day. The six picked up the casket again, heading towards the door. As they set the casket in the hearse, Riley knew she needed to keep her promise. She couldn't bring Chibs back, but her father would pay for what he had done. She turned to the men around her. The men that were just as broken hearted as she was.

"I need to know where everyone lands on this."

"We kill them." Tig responded.

"We kill all of them." Happy retorted.

"Every damn one of those fuckers." T.O. added.

Riley nodded and looked towards all the charters standing around them.

"We might need your help."

 


	5. Chapter 5

The plan had been set in motion soon after Chibs was placed into the ground. Riley had no idea how they were going to pull it off, but she knew she would die trying. She was sitting at the table, sewing her new patch onto her cut. Happy had moved into the VP position, and everyone wanted her in his spot. Tig had recovered from his beating, but no one had recovered from loosing Chibs.

Her father had called her, wanting a meeting but she told him it was too soon. She needed time to recover. It hadn't been an outright lie, she did need time. What she needed time for was to get everyone in position to kill him.

She had replaced her grief with a red hot rage. She found it hard to think of anything else but killing him. She knew she needed to be smart though, they all did. She wouldn't let anyone else die because of her.

"Hey, doll."

"Hey Tiggy."

"You doing okay?"

"I'll be better when he's dead."

"He will be. I promise you he will die."

"You set up the meeting with him about the guns?"

"Yeah. We meet him the newly renovated ice cream shop tomorrow."

"Let's hope this one doesn't blow up."

Tig laughed and sat down at his chair.

"It still feels weird sitting here, ya know."

"You look good there."

"Thanks, I think."

"The other charters on board?"

"Yeah. They are gonna hit the warehouses that we know of at the same time of the meet. Your father and his big wigs will be there."

"Good."

"You know we're gonna make it out of this, right?"

She looked at Tig and smiled softly. She knew deep in her heart she would fulfil her promise to Chibs. She knew she wouldn't make it out. She would give her life to protect the club she loved. She had considered not even sewing on the new patch. She figured it would be going to someone else soon enough. It meant the world to her though, to know that the club had that much faith in her.

"I'm gonna go spend the rest of the day with my husband, if that's okay."

"Of course, doll. I'll call if I need you."

She got up and kissed Tig on the top of the head. She looked at him sitting in the chair, with his big blue eyes looking back at her. She squeezed his shoulder and told herself to remember him like that. Tig did some stupid things, but he would lead the club with every fiber of his being. She walked out and hopped on her bike, heading home.

* * *

Happy was sitting on the couch, drinking, when Riley pulled up. He tried to hide it, but not being able to save Chibs destroyed him. He had the same position when Jax died, but he knew that was coming. He had been part of the plan to save the club. This was different.

He watched her walk in and he could see the sadness in her eyes. She was sporting her new patch and it looked damn good on her. He watched her hang it up by the door next to his.

"Come here."

She walked over to him, and he pulled her onto his lap.

"I love you, Riley."

"I love you too, Happy."

"You sure?"

"More sure than I've ever been sure about anything."

"Tig said we have the day off."

"Yeah."

"What do you want to do?"

"I want you to make love to me."

"I think I can do that."

Happy scooped her up and carried her back to the bedroom. She hadn't wanted much to do with him since Chibs died, so there was no way in hell he was going to turn her down. He laid her down in the bed and gently climbed on top of her. He kissed her passionately and ran his hands over every inch of her body, never feeling like it was enough. He slowly undressed her and let her do the same to him. He felt connected to her in a way he hadn't in a long time. He reached over the grab a condom, but she grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Don't worry about it."

"What if you get pregnant?"

"I'm not worried about it."

He looked at her and hesitated. He didn't get the feeling that she wasn't worried about being pregnant but more so that she wasn't worried about any consequences. She pulled him down into a kiss and he quickly forgot about his train of thought. He felt her wrap her legs around him, opening herself up for him. He slid inside her and began moving. She moaned out as they continued to kiss and devour each other. It felt like hours that they were intertwined before they both climaxed together.

Happy rolled off of her but held her close. He looked down to see tears streaming down her face, that he quickly wiped away.

"What's wrong, babe?"

"You know how much I care about you, right?"

"Of course."

"You know I'd do anything for you."

"Riley, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just please always remember that I love you. Always."

Happy wiped more tears from her face and held her to his chest. He had a bad feeling about the next day, and how she was acting just made it worse. They fell asleep together with the weight of the world on their shoulders.

* * *

It was go time. There were five warehouses to cover, and they had more than enough men to cover it. Alvarez had pulled in his guys to cover one as well. The Sons collectively were concerned about trusting him, but Riley knew they needed them to take her father down. Tig was at the meet, Happy and her would be there soon.

As they drove towards the ice cream shop, Riley felt calm. The days since Chibs had died felt like an eternity to her. She was obsessive over killing her father. She made peace with her life and knew that everyone would be able to carry on without her. She was expendable, she was a soldier. Being in the military gave her the mindset of just being a number. Take one out, you get replaced by another. The military doesn't end just because you lose one person, SAMCRO was no different.

She felt her phone go off with a text from Tig. She pulled over and checked her phone.

**No Show. You close?**

Yeah. He's probably waiting for me.

**Alright, I'll wait.**

They pulled up to the ice cream shop and parked their bikes. She looked at Happy and he looked just as uneasy as she did. It was incredibly quiet on the whole street. It had looked like they were all evacuated.

"I'll go in the front, you take the back. Make sure no one is hiding."

"Alright."

She watched Happy pull his gun and slip through the alley. She pulled her own and walked through the front door. Tig was eating candy behind the counter.

"He didn't show."

"The street is too quiet."

Riley walked through the store looking for anything suspicious. Riley stepped forward to look at the shelves right as Tig went to walk around the counter. She heard a click and saw an explosion.

The blast knocked Tig over, and sent her flying back into the wall. She felt her back slam into the wall and an excruciating pain in her stomach. She felt her eyes get heavy and everything went black.

Happy heard the explosion, but part of the roof caved in in front of him. He frantically started moving debris, trying to get to Riley and Tig. He kept pulling for what seemed like an eternity, until he heard Riley and Tig talking.

_"_ _Ri, that you doll?"_

_"_ _Yeah, Tiggy. It's me."_

_"_ _You hit?"_

_"_ _I'm very hit."_

_"_ _Yeah, me too."_

_"_ _Shit babe, you don't look so good."_

_"_ _Don't feel very well, Tiggy."_

_"_ _Where is Hap?"_

_"_ _I don't know. We split up. He went to go in the back. Hopefully he didn't get hit since most of it seems up here."_

_"_ _Shit, your mouth bleeding from getting hit or you cough that up."_

_"_ _Don't worry about me. Go find Hap. We need to end this."_

He heard someone moving towards him right as he pulled a huge piece of debris out of his way. Tig got to him right as more fell, causing the wall to cave in.

"Fuck! We need to get to her."

"She looks like shit, Hap. I'm gonna call an ambulance."

"Alright. I'll keep pulling."

He paused for a second when he heard more talking.

_"_ _You look like shit, Riley."_

He heard a strangled laugh and he assumed it was Riley.

_"_ _All you need to do is just give up. Stop this stupid feud."_

_"_ _It's not that easy and you know that."_

_"_ _It's all been business, Riley."_

_"_ _You fucking killed him."_

_"_ _You aren't going to give up are you."_

_"_ _No."_

_"_ _So be it."_

He heard two shots ring out followed by a thud and a strangled scream. Tig and Happy scrambled over the caved in wall and ran out into the lobby. Happy looked over and saw Rileys father, dead, on the ground. The bullet had gone through his skull. He quickly turned to see Riley bleeding slumped against the wall. She had a gun-shot wound to the chest and her abdomen was ripped open from the blast. She had a stream of blood coming from her mouth.

"RILEY!" He screamed.

He ran over to her and didn't know where to touch. He was afraid of moving her but afraid of her dying not knowing he was there. Her breathing was ragged and there was more blood than he knew what to do with. He heard the ambulance in the distance and prayed they would be quick enough.

"Riley, baby, please hear me. Please. He's dead. You did it. You killed that fucking bastard. Now don't you leave me. Riley, I love you so much. Don't leave me."

"Jesus Christ." TIg whispered.

Happy scooped her up and carried her out the door, laying her on the stretcher for the paramedics that had just arrived. They pushed the stretcher into the back of the ambulance and took off before he knew what to do. He looked down at his hands and for the first time in his life, felt nauseous as the sight of the blood on them.

* * *

_She woke up looking at the stars again. This time she was on the roof though instead of the grass._

_"_ _Different this time, lass?"_

_She whipped her head to the side and saw Chibs. She felt tears sting her eyes as she reached for him and let him pull her into a hug._

_"_ _Christ, lass, ya'd think ya haven't seen me in years."_

_"_ _I am so sorry."_

_"_ _Stop that, right now."_

_"_ _I am. It's all my fault. All of it. You were right."_

_"_ _No, I was a damn fool. Besides, you did this right ya know. He's dead."_

_"_ _I know. I always said I would do it."_

_"_ _Aye, ya did. Could have done it without dying though."_

_"_ _Am I dead?"_

_"_ _No, you're still breathing. I think ya know that though."_

_"_ _Shrapnel to the abdomen and a gun-shot wound to the chest. I don't think I'm going to wake up."_

_"_ _Is that what you want?"_

_"_ _This is like my prophecy. I knew I would die for the club."_

_"_ _Aye, ya did say that."_

_She fell quiet. She had prepared herself for so long to die for the club and now she felt torn. If this was where she would spend the rest of her existance, she could be comfortable. What she realized was she would miss her life. She felt like she belonged there. She loved her husband and she loved her club. She wasn't sure she was ready to leave that behind._

_"_ _What should I do?"_

_"_ _You either give in and let go, or you fight harder than you've ever fought before."_

_"_ _I'm tired, Chibs."_

_"_ _I know, lass, I know. But ya got a lot to fight for."_

_"_ _I don't like the world without you in it."_

_"_ _Ya know I'd give anything to be there for ya. At least I died around everyone I loved."_

_"_ _Jerry?"_

_"_ _Aye ya little shite. Ya know who I'm talking about."_

_Riley laughed and it hurt her chest. She reached up and felt blood._

_"_ _What-"_

_"_ _I think you made up your mind, lass."_

_"_ _I love you, Filip."_

_"_ _And I love you my sweet Riley."_

_Riley went to smile again but instead screamed out in pain. Her abdomen hurt so badly. She was clinging to her chest, trying to breathe but it hurt. She closed her eyes, wishing for the pain to stop._

* * *

Happy sat in the grass, playing with his wedding ring. He was starting to get hungry, but he didn't want to leave. The only time he felt peace was when he sat there. The wind picked up but he barely felt it. He wished he could feel more. He barely even felt rage.

There was nothing to be mad about. There was no one left to hate and no one left to blame. He had tried to blame himself for how everything played out, but no one could have guess just how shitty everything would turn out.

He looked down at his VP patch and ran his fingers over it. There was one stich that was out of place. No matter how many times Riley had tried to fix it, it never came out right. It made him smile at the memory of her swearing at it, bent over in the recliner trying to make it perfect.

He then noticed the blood on it, and it made his stomach hurt. He wasn't sure who's blood it was. He had carried Riley to the stretcher, then Tig to the second ambulance that came by. Tig had walked out alright, though he had some permanent nerve damage. He hadn't been able to ride yet, but no one had the heart to kick him out of the presidents seat.

Happy closed his eyes and let his mind wander. It always went back to that day, no matter how hard he tried to think of something else. It haunted him, but it was his guilty pleasure even though it hurt like hell.

_"_ _Doc, is she out of surgery?"_

_"_ _She woke up, she's asking for you."_

_"_ _She's alright?"_

_"_ _She's lost a lot of blood. We think we stopped the bleeding but she can't take another surgery right now."_

_"_ _What does that mean?"_

_"_ _Go to your wife, Mister Lowman."_

_Happy ran into the room to see Riley hooked up to more tubes and wires than he had ever seen. He walked to her side and took her hand._

_"_ _Riley, you awake?"_

_"_ _I'm here."_

_Her voice was frail and raspy. They had cleaned her up, but she looked so pale. There was blood in her hair and still on her face._

_"_ _We did it, babe. He's gone."_

_"_ _I know. Even fucked up I'm a better shot than you."_

_He felt tears sting his eyes as her failed attempt at a smile spread across her face. He was brushing her hair away from her and holding himself up so he didn't crush her._

_"_ _You're gonna pull through this, Riley."_

_"_ _We both know that's not true."_

_"_ _They said they think they stopped the bleeding."_

_"_ _It hurts, Happy."_

_He wanted to die when he saw the tears well up in her eyes. He had never seen her so scared._

_"_ _You gotta fight, babe."_

_"_ _I can't anymore. I'm so tired."_

_"_ _The worst is over."_

_"_ _I love you, Happy."_

_"_ _I love you too, Riley. You hold on there, okay? Baby, I need you."_

_He watched as her eyes fluttered shut, and her machines started beeping loudly. Nurses and doctors rushed in and pushed him away from her. They started compressions on her, but kept talking about it popping the stitching they had just done. A nurse pushed him out of the room as they started the paddles up. They shut the door in his face, cutting his sight of his wife._

He opened his eyes and felt the tears running down his face. He hated that his mind always went to that moment. It was the last moment he ever spoke to his wife and got a response. It was the last time he ever heard her beautiful lips tell him that he loved her. She fought for three more days until her heart just quit. They said it couldn't take the trauma anymore. He would have ripped his own heart out for her if it would have made her live.

He placed his hand on her headstone, smiling at his last name on it. They had never talked about headstones, but he knew it would have made her smile. He stood up, knowing it was time to go back to the club. It had been six long months, but she would have never accepted him walking away from the club they both loved.

As much as he missed her, he knew she was finally at peace. She used to talk about coming to terms with all the things she had been through. He could still hear her.

_"_ _Someday. Someday I'll be able to breathe easy and know that I did everything possible to protect those that I love. I'll be able to look at the stars without regrets and smile at all my memories. All the hard shit, that I never thought I would survive, will just be a memory to laugh at. I'll be able to look back knowing that I'm at peace. I'll find my tranquility. I know you think I'm crazy, Hap. But I'll find it."_

He smiled knowing that she had found it. His soldier had found her tranquility, and some day he would find his. Until then, he would keep living know that he had loved someone more than he ever thought possible.

* * *

 


End file.
